When Parent’s Impose Their Expectations On Their Kids, It All Goes To Hell.

So, good luck with that.

Photo by Joeyy Lee

Long ago, my wife and I agreed that I’d stay home with my now elementary school-age kids. Yep, when they get home from school, mom or a nanny aren’t there to dish out the cookies and milk. Instead, they get me. I’m at the door wearing cargo shorts, crocs, and a faded, slightly torn, Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Occasionally, to feel like a man, I smoke a cigar.

And in this role, I’ve learned, when it comes to loving kids, it is not about putting your arm around them so they feel better after a long, hard day.

Nor is it the triumph you feel after you’ve willed them to ride a two-wheel bike.

And, it is certainly not when you dupe yourself into believing they’ll say great to see you the moment they get off the bus.

No, love is none of these things. Why? Because a parents’ expectations about what they think will happen don’t match the reality. In other words, mom’s expectations are clay pigeons and her sharpshootin’ kids are holding a loaded rifle ready, willing, and able to fire. And to see your expectations obliterated, that, right there, is hard.