Guy-I-Am Opens Up About Marriage

Anthony C. Fireman
2 min readOct 17, 2020


And tells it like it is

Just look at me, I haven’t thought about marriage.
Or a ring, a wife, or a baby carriage.
After all, look, I am a scrooge that’s old.

I’m way too late for something so bold.
But for you, oh no, it’s not too late
to go on a date to find a mate.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll find the one.
Just hope it takes one so you’ll be done.
And who knows? Maybe you’ll have three little Kates.
And two Great Danes who’ll grow out of theirs crates.

Maybe a boy who likes to play ball.
And so what if he becomes a know-it-all?
You know marriage might be the right call.

Quite frankly, marriage isn’t so rad.
You’ll have good days and bad days,
happy days and sad.
And you’ll certainly have merry days too.
Even some that make you damn mad.

Yes, marriage has a way of getting you caught.
Next thing you know you have a house that you bought.
The lawn needs mowing, those Great Danes need a walk.
And after all that, your wife needs to talk.

A man shouldn’t sink into his head.
Pay her attention, don’t go brain dead.
Yes, you’ll get pushed, pulled into a zone.
A zone where your voice takes a terrible tone.
And before you know it, you’re alone with your phone.

And let me plant another seed.
You’ll need to agree to the things you’ll both need.
For what you’ve agreed is your new family creed;
and from this creed, you’ll get what you need,
all because of the things you’ve agreed.

Marriage is simple in a way.
Uphold your agreements in every which way.
It’s the context of things that can be complex
When you’re cooking and cleaning and trying to have sex.

If marriage is indeed your fate,
Then you’ll definitely love what you create.
Just remember the key is to communicate,
After all, that’s how fate found your mate!



Anthony C. Fireman

Comedian breaking every rule on this thing.